The Holidays are almost over! Some thoughts and pictures to wrap up the year.

Well, 2013 is coming to a close.  Here’s what I think.

 This is all just so weird.  That’s what runs through my head a lot lately.  Everything, even sitting in the house I grew up in, seems so weird.  There’s really no way to express how I’ve felt since losing my mom.  I hate how angry I feel sometimes, and how even the smallest thing can set me off.   The past six months have really been a struggle.  I am SO grateful for the people in my life that have put up with me and supported me through my best and worst moments.  As we head into 2014, I am still learning how to live life.  I’m adjusting to life without my mom.  It’s weird. It hurts.  I miss her more and more.  Some days I feel like I have moved on, if only just a little.  Some days I feel like I have taken a baby step towards healing. Other days, I just want to cry.  Other days it feels as fresh as the day it happened. 2013 was a year of ups and downs.  It was a rollercoaster.  Mostly I feel broken.  But Praise God that in our complete brokenness, He is there.  When we need a hug, he sends people into our lives that give us the biggest hug.  When we need to laugh he has given us a best friend that makes us laugh.   It feels strange to me that it’s New Years.  All I can feel is relief that the holidays are over. I’m honestly just trying to get by each day.  And always, always, in my lowest, darkest, worst moments, God is there picking me up and giving me peace.  When I’m on the ground crying and the most broken, he holds onto me and tells me it’s going to be ok.  What a FAITHFUL, LOVING, MERCIFUL God we serve.  What I have learned, and am still learning through all of this, is that we really can do ALL THINGS through HIM who gives us strength.  It is never by my own strength that I get up off of the floor.  God is bigger than all of this.  As I reflect on this New Years Eve, I am just so grateful for the people that God has placed in my life. For the friends I can call or text when I need to, for the friends who I can call and say, “hey, can we pray?” and they take time out of their busy schedule to pray with you.  Friends that you never really knew why they were in your life until moments like that, and that God knew all along you would need. 

 

As I say goodbye to what so far has been the hardest year of my life, my resolution is to remember all that God has done in the midst of it.  I hope to continue growing in Him, and most of all, be THANKFUL.  No matter what is in store, no matter what challenges I may face.  Happy New Year!

 

Here are some pictures from throughout the year.

 

One of my favorite pictures with my favorite boys from May

Jamie and I in Beijing, Jan 2013

My boy Beau! This kid has stolen my heart. He had just turned one in this picture and will have his second birthday soon. 🙂

My 29th birthday that I was blessed to spend with my China family

Spring 2013. This picture is so perfectly Luke. Love this kid.

Heading into the fall. One of my favorite boys with my favorite Chinese lady, Wang Ayi. She is the sweetest. 🙂

Oh my. Isn’t he the cutest?

Another one of my little boy Jamie. I spent most of my days with him from July until December.

This summer we discovered a local night market that we could ride our bikes to. Great food with great friends!

I can’t leave out celebrating my 2 year China-versary with 2 of my very best friends!

Sliding all by himself!

Summertime

Kid’s Christmas Party.

 

Thanks for reading. See you next year!