I realize there are a lot of words here for you to read, but they can’t do justice to the experience of going to an orphanage and seeing those faces. They can’t really explain what’s going on in my heart, but here they are anyway. I would love to share more in person. I’m not good with words, so please forgive my ramblings, and be encouraged by what God is doing on the other side of the world.
I came home from China 6 months ago wondering why I had left. My heart was hurting and I longed to be back there, but I felt I had to come home for awhile. So in May when the opportunity came along to spend a week serving in an orphanage with a team, I jumped at the chance to go back, even if it would just be a short trip. What I didn’t see coming, and what I love about God’s plan, is how amazing those two weeks would be, and how much God could do in a short amount of time. He keeps showing me just how big-and sovereign HE is.
On Monday, we walked into the orphanage for the first time. I was hit with so many emotions (and given lots of tea). A sense of relief at being back, excitement, joy, and sadness washed over me. While we were touring the orphanage, all of those emotions hit me and I just started crying, not really sure what I was crying about. I was so happy to be there, but was faced once again with the reality of what those kids being there- what me being there, meant. I had worked in a foster home and with orphans before, but nothing can prepare you when you see their beautiful faces in person.
We had a great week in the orphanage. I spent most of each day in the 1 year old room, holding and playing with the kids, and building relationships with the amazing nannies who take care of the them day in and day out. (They truly are amazing- loving the kids as if they were their own). We also had a photography workshop with the older kids. Here is a link my team leader wrote about the workshop.
http://www.myoverthinking.com/2014/11/01/vision-valuable-recap-5-best-spent-hours-trip/
It’s hard to explain, but this wasn’t just a short term missions trip with the goal of holding babies. It was about much more- part of an ongoing ministry and partnership America World has with the orphanage. (But I did love holding those babies!)
Although it was overwhelming at times, the orphanage was clean and bright. There were pictures and artwork on the walls. They had clean clothes, toys, and food for the kids. The nannies always had at least 3 kids climbing on their lap, and comforted the kids when they cried. Of course they can’t hold every kid all day, but they did their best, and their best is better than I could do! Even in the face of such sadness at the fact that these kids don’t have families (yet), there was so much love and hope in that place. Our team didn’t bring God there- He was already there, holding those babies in His arms and writing each of those kids’ stories. I am still humbled that He allowed me to be a part of what He is doing. Our role was a small part of a much bigger story.
Of course I wish that there wasn’t a need for orphanages. I wish that there wasn’t a need for them, and wish that in the next year or 2 when I hope to adopt, there would be no waiting kids. But, the tough reality is that there is a need. When I’m ready to adopt, there will be plenty of kids waiting. I can’t claim to know what every orphanage is like, but I was so encouraged to see the one we did. I am still processing the time we were there, and still working out what it means for my life (but, it’s not about me anyway). The biggest thing I walked away with was the sense of HOPE and the truth of God’s redeeming love. Praise God that He has saved us and adopted us, and that He will bring beauty from brokenness. HE is bigger than anything we could ever do. The truth is heartbreaking, but God binds the brokenhearted and places the lonely in families.
One of my favorite parts about working at Shepherd’s Field was being able to share with a child that they had a family. It never gets old, and while at the orphanage, we got to tell one little girl that she has a family. (!!!!!!) In the span of 5 days we built relationships with the older kids, sharing through the workshop God’s beauty and the value that each of them has. (Those kids were SERIOUSLY amazing).
Wow. So much packed into 5 days. Hope, beauty, redemption, and much more. I will write another post about my visit to Shepherd’s Field, but the experience in Shaanxi left my heart overflowing. I tried in this post, but it is hard to put into words what we experienced so I’m stealing a quote from a post from The Sparrow Fund (check it out!)
“I can’t help but come back changed because while I’m there I encounter Him and experience the world in a way that demands a response, demands a change within me.”
Across the Ocean 
Leave a comment